We need to talk.

It’s about my old camera, and what happens when it dies and I try to stall for time while waiting for my new camera to come in.

I thought I could do it, friends. I thought I could just slap up a few old photos and distract you with a shiny giveaway from a cool company (platform bed, anyone?), and then sit tight until it would come and I would use it and love it and post pictures and recipes and nobody would ever guess that I had been camera-less for over a month. And here I am, scraping through the archives and typing out pathetic excuse-laden blog posts, waving things in front of your eyes until I can get back to the regularly-scheduled programming. Nice, LaChelle.

So. We’ve got a bit of a wait ahead. I’m going to dig through my archives some more and try to talk you into your kitchen. With some shredded coconut.

Remember these Coconut Lime Scones? Heavy cream. The lime in the coconut. Eat them aaaalll up.

Piña Colada Cookies.  Yum. Tropical party in your kitchen. May result in bad photography.

My husband still talks about these Cherry Almond Chews. No coconut in the title. Plenty in the cookie.

Friends! Guess what? We have a winner! You were kind of expecting that, though, weren’t you?

Reading your birthday wishes made me smile and laugh and wish that I could send you all to the spas and exotic destinations you dream about. Wish I could. But there is one of you who will be going home, so to speak, with a $100 gift card!

Ann, you win!

(Number generated by random.org)

I’ll email you shortly, and give you the code for your gift card to CSN Stores. Hurray! Congratulations!

Now. For the rest of you charming people, listen up. . .

I’m doing a lightning blitz giveaway Friday afternoon on Facebook. Instant winners! If you’re following the Sugar Duchess page on Facebook, watch closely for updates. . . is all I’m gonna say. . .

You’ve been awesome. You’ve been witty and fun and gracious, and just as in love with flour and sugar and eggs as I am. Starting up this blog, I was excited about the prospect of having my own corner of cyberspace to throw powdered sugar around in. But what I enjoy even more is the complete strangers-turned-friends coming by to say hello. Nice comments are the fuel that gives life to the blogging community.

Incidentally, my “blogiversary” was back in January, and I completely missed it. Uhh… Happy 1st birthday to Sugar Duchess. So I’m a little late. No harm done. Let’s celebrate, you and me.

If nice comments keep the blogging community alive, then giveaways make it flourish and sparkle.

How does a gift card sound? Any kitchen items you’ve had your eye on lately? Any non-kitchen items you’ve had your eye on lately? Because good grief, anything from end tables to handbags is possible here.

The lovely and talented people at CSN Stores have graciously offered to give one of my readers a $100 gift card to any of their online shops.

A $100 gift card! Did you catch that?

Want a chance to win? Just leave a comment on this post, telling me how you would like to spend your next birthday. A random number will be drawn to determine the winner. Make sure you leave an email address or blog url so I can contact you when you win.

The giveaway will close on Sept. 1, 2010, at 5:00 p.m. MST. I’ll announce a winner at that time.

U.S. and Canadian residents only, please. 

Time for a list.

“Things I am sort of obsessed with these days”

• Anything written by Brandon Sanderson
• This licorice! Good grief people!
  
• Clean bathtubs
• Squishy pink baby pudge. Nom nom nom…
• Jeeves and Wooster. On Amazon for only $20? Temptation!
• Blessed peace and quiet

And let’s be honest. “Dipping things in chocolate” is right up there too.

First that, now this.

My husband’s coworkers came out and asked for cupcakes. Chocolate was the unanimous flavor request, with one mention of strawberry. Aha! Chocolate-dipped strawberries. Everybody wins.

I frosted these with stabilized whipped cream, which is definitely lighter than frosting. That makes me happy. I’m not a huge fan of most frosting, but maybe I just haven’t met my true love yet.

Chocolate Strawberries ‘n Cream Cupcakes

adapted from Bakers Banter

Ingredients for cupcakes:

2 cups sugar

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons Instant ClearJel or cornstarch

3/4 cup Dutch-process cocoa

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

4 large eggs

3/4 cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1-1/4 cup water, room temperature

For stabilized whipped cream:

1-1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1/4 teaspoon Instant ClearJel

For chocolate-dipped strawberries:

1 dozen strawberries

1-1/2 cup high-quality semi-sweet chocolate chips (I love Guittard)

Directions:

Make the chocolate-dipped strawberries first. Melt the chocolate chips on low heat in a double-boiler, fondue pot, or mini crock pot on low. Make sure the strawberries are clean and completely dry.

Line a baking sheet with wax paper. Hold a strawberry by the leaves and dip it 3/4 of the way into the chocolate. Shake gently to remove the excess chocolate, and place on wax paper. Chill the dipped strawberries in the fridge while you make the cupcakes and whipped cream. (When you’re ready to use the dipped strawberries, make sure the chocolate is completely set, and peel them very carefully from the wax paper.)

Next make the cupcakes. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Prepare two 8″ rounds with grease and parchment paper. (If your 8″ rounds aren’t 2″ high, you’ll want to use 9″ rounds instead.)

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together all the dry ingredients. Add the eggs, oil, and vanilla, beating until smooth. Gradually add the milk, beating until smooth.

Spoon the batter evenly into a paper-lined cupcake pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of a cupcake comes out clean.

While the cupcakes are baking, make the whipped cream frosting.

To make the frosting, add the heavy whipping cream to a medium-sized mixing bowl, and beat on medium-low speed, gradually adding the powdered sugar. Increase the mixing speed slightly as the cream thickens. Whip the cream just until stiff peaks form, then add the vanilla and Instant ClearJel. Whip until incorporated, no more than 15-20 seconds. If the whipped cream appears lumpy, add a teaspoon of milk and stir gently until smooth.

Once the cupcakes are completely cool, pipe the whipped cream frosting onto the cupcakes with a large round tip. Garnish with chocolate sprinkles or shavings, and let them chill in the fridge for 10 minutes. Top with a chocolate dipped strawberry. Keep them cool in the refrigerator until ready to serve.

The title of this post should actually be “How a Cake Broke my Heart.”

I didn’t get enough time to love this cake. Or take decent photos, really, but that’s beside the point.

I had just declared it finished and whipped out my camera. Then the doorbell rang, and it was time for my darling cake to go out into the wide world without me. Just like that.

I didn’t get enough time to love it. I’m still trying to shake the jilted feeling. I know. Maybe a few Jeeves and Wooster episodes on YouTube might help.

You wouldn’t think it to look at it, but this cake was actually a fudge cake under the surface. This fabulous recipe has quickly become my new favorite of all time in the whole universe cake recipe dot com. And luckily, chocolate happens to be my most requested cake flavor. I love how that works.

I just put my braniac pants on.

I looked up the word ‘trifle’ in the dictionary. Yes I did.

All the definitions pretty much said the same thing: Small, insignificant, of little value. . .

Then this, sticking out like a sore thumb:

English Cookery . A cold dessert of sponge cake and fruit covered with layers of custard, jelly, and cream.

What?? Not that I was surprised to see it there, but it’s just so different from the other definitions, you know there’s something wacky going on with the English language here.

So I turned to an etymology dictionary. Yeah. . . I know. Even using the word ‘etymology’ makes me feel all scholarly. Please tell me I’m not the only one who is pathetic like that.

And what did I find? Well, nothing. The etymology dictionary didn’t say a word about sponge cake and custard. Dead end.

So much for my braniac pants.

Want to know a secret? The only part I had in this trifle was helping to eat it. My husband, who is quite the accomplished trifle maker, put this thing together from start to finish. That’s his red apron, and his hand there, spreading those huge dollops of Cool Whip. Be still my heart.

I love trifles. They’re quick and fool-proof and delicious, and the glass dish means instant pretty. If you’re not in a hurry, you could do all of the ingredients homemade from scratch. As awesome as that all sounds, how could I resist a dish with Instant pudding, Cool Whip, and Oreos? Nope. Not today, at least.

Raspberry Cheesecake Trifle

Ingredients:

32 Oreo cookies, including the creme filling

1 large container of Cool Whip

2 packages of Instant pudding, cheesecake flavored

3 cups of raspberries, fresh or frozen

Directions:

Make up the pudding and put it in the fridge to chill. Meanwhile, chop or process the Oreos into small (1-cm) pieces.

In a glass trifle dish, put a thin layer of pudding on the bottom. Sprinkle Oreo pieces over the top. Gently spread some Cool Whip over the Oreos. Finally, sprinkle raspberries over the Cool Whip.

Continue layering the ingredients in that order — pudding, Oreos, Cool Whip, Raspberries — until you get close to the top of the trifle dish. Decorate the top with any remaining ingredients.

Refrigerate, and serve cold.

Quick tip: It will look prettier on the outside if you make sure that all the layers are showing through the glass on the outer edge of the trifle. For instance, I usually create a raspberry “border” around the edge before I sprinkle more raspberries in the middle where nobody sees.

There are a few frequently asked questions that I frequently . . . get asked . . .

Can I share my favorite with you? Can I just get this off my chest? Okay.

Q: How come you’re not 500 lbs, with all these treats and goodies you eat all day long?

A: *facepalm*

I love this question. See, people come to this blog and assume that my family and I subsist on cake and cinnamon rolls. I think that’s pretty hilarious.

Honestly, I eat very little of the goodies I make. They’re usually for an event, or to give away to someone. And when I do make something just for fun, I send 98% of it away with my husband to work. He puts it in the break room for all of his office buddies to consume. And good grief, they do.

Now, take a moment and read over that last paragraph. Got it?

Good. See, that’s actually the answer I would have given you, if you had asked before I made these sweet rolls.

I made a whole bunch of these rolls for that Return of the Jedi party I mentioned earlier. Did I send the leftovers with my husband to work? Good heavens, no. I kept them home and had inhaled at least four of them by 10:00 a.m. Not one of my finer moments. But ooooohh, they were good.

I’ll be honest, if I were forced to choose only one baked treat for the rest of my life, there would be none of that wishy-washy “oh-I-could-never-choose-just-one” bunk. The winner would easily be fluffy, sticky, chewy, yeasted sweet rolls. Heaven. Just, heaven.

I’m not sure what else I can say to convince you to go make these. Just . . . go make them.

Promise me you will.

Orange Cranberry Sweet Rolls

recipe for dough adapted from Lion House Bakery

2 cups warm water

1/3 cup nonfat dry milk

2 tablespoons Instant yeast* (such as SAF)

1/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons salt

1/3 cup butter, room temperature

2 eggs

5 to 6 cups all-purpose flour or bread flour

filling:

3/4 cup sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon orange zest

1/3 cup melted butter

Dried cranberries

glaze:

2 tablespoons butter, room temperature

2 cups powdered sugar

3-4 tablespoons orange juice

Directions:

Prepare the filling first by creaming together the sugar and cinnamon with the orange zest. Set aside.

Next make the dough. In a large bowl, combine the water, dry milk, yeast, sugar, salt, butter, eggs, and 2 cups of the flour. Mix just until smooth. Add two more cups of flour, and mix until incorporated (I do this by hand with a wooden spoon). Then mix in just enough of the remaining flour to make a very soft dough. Don’t go by the exact amount in the recipe — go by the feel of the dough. The dough shouldn’t be so sticky that you can’t knead it, but just barely manageable. The less flour you add, the softer the rolls will be, generally. Knead for about 6-8 minutes, or until the dough is smooth and elastic.

Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and roll into a rectangular shape, roughly 20″ x 12″. Brush dough with the 1/3 cup of melted butter, and sprinkle evenly with the sugar/orange zest mixture. Sprinkle with dried cranberries. Carefully roll the rectangle up lengthwise and cut into 1-inch slices using thread or floss. Place rolls on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or a nonstick baking mat. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to rise until doubled in size. Halfway through rising, preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Bake for 14-16 minutes, or until golden brown. While the rolls are baking, prepare the glaze by mixing together the butter and powdered sugar, and stirring in enough orange juice to make it “drizzling” consistency. Stir briskly until smooth. As soon as the rolls are removed from the oven, drizzle or brush the glaze over the hot rolls.

*Note: If you want to use active dry yeast instead of instant yeast, I can’t make any promises, but you should make these adjustments:

• Dissolve 2 tablespoons active dry yeast with the warm water and sugar for about 5 minutes before you add it to the other ingredients to make the dough.
• Once you are done kneading the dough, place it in a large greased bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and allow it to rise until doubled. After it’s risen, punch it down and roll it into a rectangle, resuming the recipe as written.

Watch out, I’m getting all trendy and 21st century on you. Which is awfully pathetic, because we’re a good 10 years into the 21st century.

Sugar Duchess is now on Facebook!

I would be tickled pink if you hopped on over there and became a fan. Or Like. Or whatever it is you do on Facebook these days. It’ll be a party, honest. Actually, friends, I’m feeling a little insecure about this whole fan business, and I’ll feel pretty darn silly if I only get one fan, and it’s my mom. Oh wait, my mom isn’t on Facebook.

Now, here’s the deal: Twitter. . . I’ve been having Twitter thoughts, but I need a little input. Worth it? Or waste of time? Any of you Twitter Kool-Aid drinkers out there want to hand out advice?

Third item of business: These truffle pops.

My husband and some coworkers recently had a “Return of the Jedi” party, because two of them had never seen it. And as we all know, party = treats.

I had made cake pops for them before, so they were requesting cake pops again. I looked at my schedule and decided Oreo pops would be more prudent.

After all, these pops:

A) Come together quickly, no oven required, with only

B) Three ingredients. And one of them is cream cheese. And one of them is Oreos. And one of them is chocolate. You still with me?

C) And they’re bite-sized.

D) This is a no-brainer.

Oreo Truffle Pops

adapted from Bakerella

Ingredients:

1 (1 lb. 1 oz) package of Oreos, minus about 6-8 cookies

1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese, softened to room temperature

Dipping chocolate

Directions:

Crush the Oreos (including the creme filling) in a food processor until finely ground. Or place them in a heavy duty bag and very finely crush them with a rolling pin. Cream together the Oreo crumbs with the softened cream cheese until completely blended. You may want to use your fingers.

Form into 1″ balls and place on a wax paper-covered baking sheet. Gently poke a sucker stick down into each ball. Freeze for about 20 minutes. In the meantime, melt your chocolate in a double boiler, or as directed on the package.

For the next step, only remove one ball from the freezer at a time. Dip it into the melted chocolate, lightly tap off the excess, and place it on another wax paper-covered baking sheet to dry.

Let the balls cool on the wax paper for at least 1 hour before very gently peeling them off.

Drizzle with white chocolate coating or decorate as desired.

Season changes give me ants in my pants. Proverbially.

In the spirit of turning seasons, my little blog has been undergoing some changes. The astute reader will have noticed. And of course all of my readers are astute. And attractive. And clever.

It’s really nothing major, mostly just a couple of useful sidebar widgets, and an updated About page.

I’m also excited to announce a new recipe index. It was time. And it feels good. Mostly. As I’ve been spending time in my archives, I’ve been reminded of some pretty awful posts and photos. That’s embarrassing. Not that I’m any photography whiz now, but good grief, there are some ugly photos on this site. And weird formatting. Yikes. Sorry.

Stay tuned for some Facebook action. . .

. . . And some oh-so-rich Oreo truffle pops. . .

. . . And don’t miss the upcoming giveaway!

It’s confession time.

I’ve been baking like a mad woman for the past couple of weeks. Yeah. Do mad women bake?

That didn’t sound like a confession. Let me try that again:

I’ve been baking like a madwoman for the past couple of weeks, and my camera spent most of that time in another room of the house, NOT documenting any of the kitchen action.

No photos, no blog post. I’m ashamed, really.

See, the hardest part of food blogging for me is snapping a well-composed, well-lit photo so I can put it in a blog post. It seems like I’m always either in a big hurry with not a second to spare for photography, or I’m baking something for an event where it’s just not convenient or even possible to get a good photo. Yeah, I’m actually just making lame excuses here.

Exactly one second before these photos were taken, I was feverishly tossing sprinkles onto these cupcakes like my life depended on it. And exactly one second after the photos were taken, I was dashing out the door with them.

I love my blog readers. Know how I know? Because I was willing to run a little late in order to document these cupcakes, because they are just that good, and I wasn’t about to let you miss out. See? I’m here for you. I’m on your side.

These chocolate cupcakes are not light and fluffy. They’re dark and dense and down-to-business. These are grumpy-pants Mr. Darcy cupcakes. I really hope you don’t think I’m a weirdo because I just said that.

The light and creamy peanut butter frosting is a perfect complement. A friend of mine told me she could bathe in this frosting. Enough said.

Chocolate Fudge Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1-3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1-1/3 cup sugar

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 eggs

3/4 cup canola oil

1/2 cup sour cream

1/4 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a mixing bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, cocoa, salt, and baking soda. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix just until incorporated and smooth, about one minute.

Scoop evenly into lined muffin cups (fill each cup about 1/2 full) and bake for 18-20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool in the pan for about 5 minutes, then remove the cupcakes to a wire rack to cool completely.

Creamy Peanut Butter Frosting

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, room temperature

1 cup creamy peanut butter

4 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

Directions:

In a large bowl, cream butter and peanut butter together until smooth. Stir in the powdered sugar a cup at a time, and beat until well-blended. Add the milk and vanilla and mix until smooth and fluffy.